GREAT EXPECTATIONS

With a title like that, you probably have high hopes for this post huh? Well, that’s exactly what I’d like to talk about today – the expectations we put on ourselves, our experiences, our performance, our families, our friends and our futures. Our own personal great (albeit sometimes needless) expectations.

A few months back I found a free yoga class here in New Orleans. I put on my yoga pants (who am I kidding…I probably already had them on) and headed to the studio. I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect, but I thought if nothing else, maybe I’d leave with an Ellen Degeneres moment to quote with my sister-in law Jocelyn for months to come:

As per Ellen: “I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I'm looking out of my third eye and everything that I'm supposed to be doing. It's amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. 'Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama's got the magic of Clorox 2.'” haha!

But after giving the sun my salutations, posing like a child and joining in a rousing chorus of “Ommmms” - I ended up with much more than a jingle stuck in my head. I found a new perspective. How’s that for RICH results from a FREE yoga class. Let me explain….

There I was, much like Ellen, aligning my chakras (whatever that is) with the help of the instructor. We’ll call her Female Gumby. She had one of those soothing, melodic voices inviting you to relax and follow her toward tranquility. Ommmmm……I was on my way.

Step one: Awareness. Female Gumby instructed us to simply become aware of our bodies and recognize how we felt. She had us stretch one side of our bodies and then the other. Step two: She then told us to acknowledge our feelings and the movements of our bodies. Step three: And here’s the kicker - WITHOUT PASSING JUDGMENT. Puzzled at what she meant, I tried to look at her through my pretzel of a position. Luckily she explained and even more luckily I was able to get out of that position.

She said that as we go about our daily lives, many of us are constantly and consistently passing judgment on ourselves and those around us. For instance, if at the last yoga class you were able to stretch farther – passing judgment and setting an expectation would be telling yourself “Come on body – last week you stretched 2 inches farther! What’s wrong with you today?!” Acknowledging would mean you simply continue stretching while saying “hmmm…my muscles are much tighter today and I’m not able to stretch as deeply.” See the difference? It’s slight but a powerful.

Another example can be seen in that moment when you glance up from your yoga mat at your neighbor touching her nose to her big toe and you begin to feel frustrated at your lack of stretch-ability and bendy-ness. As Kidd Kraddic would say: “GET OVER IT!” As Kim Sigety would say: “Ouch!” As Female Gumby would say: “Why are you even worried about your neighbor? Simply notice what YOU are able to do and if you’d like to, acknowledge your neighbor too, but don’t pass judgment or make their abilities your personal expectations.”

Notice the difference? Noticing and acknowledging vs. noticing and judging.

Let’s take this idea out of the yoga studio and into our everyday lives. Think of all the undue stress we put on ourselves throughout the day when we judge instead of acknowledge. We wake up and rather than just acknowledging that we might be extra tired today – we get frustrated that we don’t have as much energy as we’ve had on other days. We’re wasting energy being frustrated while we could be using our energy (no matter how little we have) on being productive. Or maybe we look in the mirror and see a bulge here or a discoloration there and pass judgment about how we don’t look as good as we expected to, or don’t feel as pretty as the people around us. Again we’re wasting energy and time on negative and discouraging thoughts that lead to depression instead of progression.

The list could go on and on…and all too often it does. We go about our activities, comparing and judging and getting frustrated at unmet expectations and it threatens to overpower our perspectives. We skip well over acknowledgement and jump right into judgment.

So let’s take a lesson from Female Gumby in all her yoga glory and try to do a little more acknowledging and accepting of our awesome little selves. Then with this acknowledgement in full force and frustration eliminated, we can use our extra energy to make the progress we’d ultimately like to.

If you put this into practice, who knows what you’ll start acknowledging about yourself down the road. If you’re lucky – you might just find yourself touching your nose to our big toe. Ya know...THAT...or whatever your goal might be ;)

Happy Acknowledging!

Ooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmm……