HELD HOSTAGE

Psssst!  It's me, Kim....you know, that girl who's blog you used to read.  I'll have to write quickly.  I don't have much time.  You see, for the past two months I've been lovingly held hostage by the most adorable baby in the world.  What's he asking for?  Oh you know, just all my love and affection in the form of formula, kisses, diaper changes, cuddles, zurbits, burp induction, and baby talk coupled with over-exaggerated facials.  Whew!  Can we say exhausting?  Not to mention that I'm only allowed to sleep when he sleeps.  And heaven forbid I should want a shower...He sits in his throne (bouncer seat) on the bathmat just waiting to cry and cue the end of cleanliness altogether.  And to think that I used to consider shaving my legs a necessity.  (sorry John)  Yes, this little guy keeps up quite the schedule!  I've just been doing my best to keep up.  But alas, that means I haven't been able to keep up with the other areas of my life that I used to cherish fondly.  Blog included.

Thus, with my semi-house-arrest in full force these days, I told myself it was high time to regain balance in babyland.  And so I did what any ipad lacking non-kindle carrying woman would do.  I went to Barnes and Noble in search of the holy grail.  Or at least a book on sleep training.  You know, either one.  It was time for mission "BRINGING SLEEP BACK" to commence.  And who knows, since I blatantly ripped off my misson name from Justin Timberlake - getting enough sleep again might just bring sexy back too.  A husband can only hope, right?  But I digress...

So, because the likes of my google-searching wasn't hitting on enough advice to aid me in outsmarting the likes of my hostage holder.  I needed a real book, and I needed it bad.  So I waited for the perfect moment.  Bottle empty.  Burp released.  Diaper bag packed.  Baby asleep.  It was go time.  To the Honda-mobile!!  (ok...it sounds cooler when you own a Bat-mobile.  But all I have is a civic, so you'll just have to deal)

I strapped Owen in the back seat as carefully as I could.  zzzzzzZZzzz  And off we went.  I'd have to act fast or my window of opportunity would close with the opening of Owen's eyes.

Exiting the freeway I saw the promised land.  Barnes and Noble.  Bring it on.  Well, bring it on after I find a parking spot, turn off the engine, get the car seat stroller frame out of the trunk, open it and hear it "click," close the trunk as quietly as possible, release Owen's carseat, position it in the stroller frame, check and double check that I have his passifier handy, load up the stroller's under compartment with items galore, cover the stroller with a blanket to block the wind, and lock the car.  Where were we?  Oh yes...

BRING. IT. ON.

I entered the non-automaticly opening doors (awkward with a stroller) and began strolling the isles as only you can with stroller...almost knocking books off with every turn and swivel.  And I finally entered the "So, you had a baby and have no idea what you're doing" section.  (Also known as the "Parenting" section)  And after sifting through more topics than I care to currently worry about...I found a title that seemed to fit.  "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child."  Yes, please.  I'll have both.  Thank you Melissa for the suggestion :)  And with that, I bought the book and headed out to hurry home.

I've only had time to skim the pages and implement a few key insights from my Barnes and Noble find.  But so far I think I'm gaining some real headway with my snuggly little hostage holder.  Also helpful?  A swaddling blanket contraption thing I got as a present before Owen even arrived.  This contraption is the reason I'm here typing to you as we speak...er....read...er....communite via blog?  To give you a mental picture - John came home tonight and after checking on our sleeping son...I mean, adorable hostage holder, came to me in the kitchen and asked, "Did you put our son in a straight jacket?"  Straight jacket sounds a little harsh, don't you think?  I prefer "swaddling blanket."  But John's right - totally looks like a baby straight jacket. But homeboy's been out for 2 hours, 15 minutes so far and I get to write on my blog.  That's what I call progress people!  Balance here I come.

Disclaimer:

Lest you be misled - please understand that I love my hostage holder more than keys can type and I feel so blessed to get to stay at home with him every day.  We're just in the process of finding the groove here in our new little family.  But for my sanity's sake, let's just hope that groove includes a little thing I like to call my PRESENT BLISS!