Thursday, November 17, 2011
I'm so vain, you probably think this post is about me. It is.
Something about turning 25 scares the crap out of me. Let's explore that something. Not the crap...the something.
Owen and I went to Tulane for lunch with John today. That sounds like an innocent enough activity, right? Wrong. What's up with all the college kids looking so young!? Wasn't really ready for that reality check. Sure, its been three years since I've been in school, and yes I'm married and have a baby, and sure I remember watching new (not old re-runs) of Saved By the Bell and Fresh Prince...but does that graduate me from the young/college-age/rising generation description? I guess if I have to ask....
I think all of this hits home harder this year because, well, I had a kid. And having a kid seems like the number one thing you can do to make you NOT feel like a kid anymore. I know this will sound utterly "youngest child" of me, but I've had to face a cold hard reality over the past two months.
The world no longer revolves around me.
Before you think me entirely self centered (or maybe you already do...) let me explain. When you are young and single - you get to be selfish. I don't mean you shouldn't wear your "WWJD" bracelet (ok...that dates me too) or love and serve others, but think about it. College was all about studying what you wanted to. When the weekend came, you got to do what you wanted. Jobs you accepted were what you wanted to do. Dating was all about finding who you wanted to marry...or make-out with, what? Then when you got married it was all about YOU again. Err...and your spouse...it was all about you TWO. lol Even being pregnant for the first time...everyone gets super interested in your buisness. (and your bidnez) Everyone asks how you're feeling, and tells you how good/fat you look. Indeed, the big fat pregnant world revolves around you. And then comes the day when you push that child out your hooha. I think that's the time when the revolutionary shift happens. The world no longer revolves around you. You've passed the gravitational pull onto your offspring and at that moment, you start spinning around them.
For the record, I know this shift is only natural. And of course it seems more drastic to me because I've just given up life at the center. But that's why I think this birthday is so hard for me. I'm growing up, and gravity is no longer keeping me at the center of it all, nor my butt or boobs in their proper locations. (darn breastfeeding and lingering baby weight). So think me vain or egotistical if you must, but I think we can all say that breaking up with our young center-situated selves is a little tough to do. But if I had to relinquish my spot at the center to anyone, I'm glad its to Owen. And John too. He's there in the middle as well. Yes, my family is the center of my world. WAIT! My family? My family?!?! MY FAMILY!!!! That includes me!! Whew...I'm still the center of my own little universe. What a relief! Maybe this birthday won't be so bad after all :)
And with that said, I'm going to feed my new little center of gravity now and hand him off to his Dad so I can pretend to be a crazed Twilight fan and go to the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn with my girlfriends.
What, it's my birthday!
Posted by Kim Sigety at 7:35 PM