SUPER KIM vs CORPORATE CANNIBALISM

I think the people in my office are going to eat me.

It all started about 4 1/2 weeks ago. First it was the occasional comment about if I was getting enough to eat. Hmmm...snacks at my desk - expanding waistline - stretchy pants - let's put two and two together here people! Er...I mean, yes, thank you, my eating habits are sufficient for my needs.

But then came the cake. A confectionary delight difficult for any average person to decline, yes? Especially in an office where free cake is the highlight of the week. lol So imagine my surprise when I was served one glorious and towering HUGE-A slice. (Imagine my FURTHER surprise at the fact that I rocked said HUGE-A slice in mere minutes, but anyway...) Ok, so they served me a ginormous slice of cake - they're just being generous, right? Wrong. Before the last bite was even swallowed I had me a breakroom cheer squad set on getting slice #2 in my pie hole. Hang on! I'm not caving in THAT easy people. Ok fine. I did. I caved. I caved like a frightened little cake-loving ninny. They found my weakness. The perfect cake trinity: yellow cake, raspberry filling & buttercream frosting.(sigh) All Superheros have their Krptonite.

But the last straw came with the cookie.

There I was - high noon. I'd just gotten back from lunch. And that's when I saw it. A shadowy thing hidden within a small subway sack on my desk. I stopped in my tracks. I saw that circular shadow beneath its thin paper hideout and instantly knew: someone had slipped me a double chocolate chunk cookie! I wasn't sure who put it there, and I wasn't sure how to proceed - but I was sure about one thing. This desk wasn't big enough for the both of us. The flourescent lights gleamed in the afternoon. It suddenly got very warm. Someone was trying to fatten me up - and this cookie was all a part of their master plot. But this was a whole new level. Leaving food on my desk? BUYING me food? SPENDING MONEY ON FOOD FOR ME? Have you no shame? But this time (bite) their (munch) plan (mmmmmmm) wasn't (big bite) going (chomp) to (swallow) work.

Oops.

Now I know you must be as worried as I am. There's no other explanation for their force-feeding. Corporate Cannibalism. What a shame. I knew office life could be "dog-eat-dog" but I had no idea it would be office-eat-Kim?! Gosh, you think you know people and then WHAMO! They start feeding you for the kill. In case this is my last post - I've appreciated all of you for reading my ramblings.

Ok...ok...so the office food pushing MIGHT have something to do with Baby Sigety - but that would have made for one boring article if you ask me. I mean honestly people, I'm a broadcaster! And every good, decent, honest broadcaster knows that sensationalism gets readership! ;) Which reminds me - Tune in to my blog at 11pm to find out what normal food on your dinner table could and most likely will kill you.

Ok, I'm not that mean. But come back soon as the saga of SUPER KIM continues...

Happy Friday!