INTELLECTUAL INVENTORY

Throughout our lives we give many things. We give hugs. We give kisses. We give advice. We give money. We give love. We give presents. We give time. We give life. We give and we give and we give. But in all our generosity – we probably offer one contribution most freely.

We give them to strangers and we give them to friends. We give them to inanimate objects and even to our own reflections. We give them to family and we give them to God. And sometimes we might just give them to blog readers. Indeed, we speak them, we write them, we text them, we sing them, we play with them, we share them, and we hope to never regret them.

We give the world our words.

I’d venture to say that aside from the gifts of love and life, the words we utter are of utmost importance. They are the vehicle through which we communicate, the medium through which we connect, and the instrument through which we expose our inner selves to the world.

But do we take time to consider our conversations, our expressions, our words? Do we choose them wisely or do we throw them wildly? Do we shout them boldly and exclaim them to the everyone? Do we whisper them softly to the saddened and impart them to the lonely? Do we withhold them when we should share them and do we hurl them when we should hold them? Do we use them for uplift or do we tease and teardown and attack?

My message today is in response to the recent media headlines that voice a topic long overdue: bullying (i.e. a misuse of words and actions). If there were any doubt about the power of words, these stories now stand as a testimony guaranteed to convince. For these reflections of a sad reality prove that our words may be freely given, but they invariably come at an unfortunate cost when spent unkindly.

What happened to the maxim of “think before we speak”? When will our mothers’ advice finally sink in that if we can’t say something nice, we’d better not say it at all? And don’t you think we could all adorn our speech with more golden a hue and “do unto others as we’d have them do unto us”? It’s high time we internalize my favorite adage, and “just be nice!”

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.”

Well said Ms. Roosevelt! And so, from the catalytic prose of a wise woman - I take her ideology as an invitation. It’s about time I take an inventory of my intellect and encourage you to do the same.

SMALL MINDS

The small minded discuss people. These individuals have the most limited of all the dialogues. Their words are bound by the actions or inaction of others. And all too common in this meager mind group is the tendency to leave the realm of reality to instead fabricate, gossip and blaspheme when reality seems too dull. Indeed the smallest of the small minds do this. Nothing constructive is accomplished when we speak about others unless we are praising them, learning from their examples, or speaking of their struggles in order to help them. Otherwise, there is nothing productive about people-based chit-chat and prose. Sorry People Magazine. And sorry to all those back-biting reality housewives whose big mouths, breasts and hair are disproportionally gargantuan to their ridiculously trivial minds. Oh dear. I’ve eaten my own words already and started bad mouthing people. Looks like I need to learn to hold my tongue and take my own advice! But in my defense - I simply said I was taking an inventory of my intellect, and not perfecting it...yet...

AVERAGE MINDS

The average minded discuss events. Rather than remain bound to the actions of others, this realm of rhetoric is confined to the calendar. Their discussions run only as deep as day planners depict because only so many events occur for them to talk about. This occasion based conversation fits the socialite well, for their life is a never ending wellspring of things to do and places to be. But what happens to these conversations when life hits a slow point or turns down an uneventful avenue. Eventless and speechless they’d run out of words. With little to say and nothing to do, they’d be left with a choice: stoop to speaking of others or elevate to a new topic for the tongue. Now lest you think me too harsh a critic – I want to be clear that I find nothing wrong with speaking of events in our lives. I was a broadcast major for heaven’s sake! But for this to be one’s sole source of expression is far too limiting for the full purpose our words are meant to proclaim.

GREAT MINDS

Those of the greatest mindset discuss ideas: the limitless realm of the dreams, the what-ifs, the thoughts, the beliefs, the feelings, the imagination, the endless power of the possible. This mode of speech knows no end or limit, but what the speaker alone defines. Children understand this principle well and explore the imaginative so fully that the line between play and reality is gloriously open-ended. Idea based speech is creative speech. It comes from within and constructively builds on the ideas of others. We sometimes call people with this basis for banter “idealistic.” They speak of the future and what might be, and then if we’re lucky, they materialize their words into productivity. These are the individuals who inspire, ignite and intrigue us all with their ability to vocalize new and different viewpoints. They enlarge our minds and encourage creativity. Theirs is a talent of infinite worth, for theirs is the god-like ability to create, connect, and communicate.

As if it were any surprise by now…I treasure words. They are the soil wherein my deepest and most life-changing and meaningful relationships have grown. The people I’ve been closest to in my life are those with whom I’ve been able to share all my words (and goodness knows I have a lot of them). Not just the happy or the superficial ones, but the truthful, the heartfelt, and the fear-filled as well. For me, those whose conversations and friendships have touched me most deeply are those who’ve listened to my ideas and trusted me enough to disclose theirs as well. In sharing my ideas, I’ve given a part of myself to my listeners. So to those whom I’ve given my words – thank you for listening.

I hope this post greets you as a constructive criticism of the way we choose to share what’s on our minds. In the cross-fire of conversation, let us never forget the worth of our words, and more importantly the worth of those we speak to. Our words are both powerful and priceless and assuredly deserve some careful consideration.

So, dear reader, I give you my final say:

Choose your words wisely and give them well, because what you say tells volumes about you.

What are your words saying about YOU?