DR. KIM - MEDICINE WOMAN

Let’s not sugar coat this one. Mary Poppins is full of crap. A spoonful of sugar does NOT help the medicine go down. The only thing that got the medicine down was an IV and a prayer. This has been one of the hardest weeks of my married life. And as hard as it’s been for me – it’s been 10 times harder for John.

As you might have noticed, my blog, much like my life, has recently made the quick and unexpected jump into disarray. Where in the world did my blog background go? Who knows, but I’m pretty sure it faded away with the background of my life as I’ve turned my focus entirely to John.

On August 2 we showed up to the hospital at 5:30am. After 4 hours of robotic kidney surgery and another 2 hours of recovery – I finally got to see my man. I made my way up to his room and waited for the nurses to bring him up. In order to save space in the hospital, they put us in the maternity ward. Random, huh? So there we were, pregnant ladies, new babies, and then came John, my baby, down the hallway. I rushed to his bedside, and his first words to me were “I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.” I love you too John. He was talking about his catheter, and who could blame my poor sedated sweetheart.

Then we sat. John in his hospital bed and me at his side.

The hours passed and he seemed to be doing really well, (all things considered). Then at about 8pm, the worst of it started. The pain began to increase and there was a blockage in his kidney – nothing could get through. The pressure and the pain became unbearable. I’ve never seen John in that much pain. I could tell it was excruciating. There was nothing I could do. Finally he got more pain meds to dull the pain, but the blockage was still there. I’ll spare you the details for fear you might never read my blog again, but at 2am I sat on the couch in the room and cried. I was the one that had to be strong, but with John asleep and the nurses down the hall, I broke down. I think I was in disbelief. We knew we were paying to fix a problem with his kidney, but neither of us realized we’d be paying for this much pain. So I cried and I prayed and I cried and prayed and I cried and I prayed – and then I tried to get some sleep. But any move John made, any little sound, any difference in his breathing, and I was up to check on him. I must have only gotten an hour or two of sleep that night.

In the morning, John appeared to be feeling somewhat better. The nurse had managed to clear the blockage in his kidney and a lot of his pain had subsided. As much as I wanted to stay, I had to remember life outside the hospital and make my way to work.

Later on that day, the doctor said he was cleared to come home. I was happy to bring him home, but nervous too. What if the pain came back like it did the night before? What if I had to miss work all week? Would my boss understand? We can’t afford for me to lose my job. What if I didn’t know how to help him? What if. What if. What if. But fearful or not, we were on our way home, and it was time for my debut as Dr. Kim, Medicine Woman.

The first few days were rough, but he seemed to be steadily healing. On Thursday and Friday he even got up and was moving around quite a bit. I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But then came the weekend, and that light of hope and healing started to fade. Sunday morning was the breaking point. John and I were scheduled to speak in church, so I showed up to give my talk and rushed home as soon as I could. John had been up all night in horrible pain, and it just kept getting worse. We packed up as fast as we could, and headed to the ER.

When we got there, the waiting room was full. The air conditioning was broken. And the wait looked like it would take forever. I heard John say a prayer under his breath and I had a prayer in my heart. Soon after that, they called our name. God knew our struggles, and God answered our prayers.

We spent all day in the ER as they ran test after test after test. Everything was coming back normal, and the culprit of the pain was allusive at best. They pumped him full of pain meds and kept him as comfortable as they could. Then I sat at his bedside and watched the live action combination of Scrubs, Grey’s Anatomy and ER unfold beyond the door of our room. It helped pass the time, but I felt disheartened that I didn’t have the assurance of a Hollywood happy ending for any of the patients being admitted. I became much more aware of the fragility of life, and grateful for the people who devote their lives to the field of medicine.

Finally the doctor decided to keep him overnight and admitted him to a room upstairs. It was 10pm and we’d spent 10 hours in the ER. A girl sees some crazy stuff after that long in the ER, and the longer you’re in there, the more you realize that you never want to go back.

Earlier in the evening, we’d decided that we couldn’t do this on our own anymore. So I got John settled upstairs and then I headed for the airport. John’s mom had selflessly agreed to fly down to our rescue. I picked her up around 11:45pm and the instant I saw her, I felt immediate relief. I wasn’t alone anymore. I didn’t have to be the only one communicating for John as he lay in the bed sedated. I didn’t have to juggle work and worry all by myself. I didn’t have to face this alone.

Now it’s been a few days since our ER experience, and in the words of the doctor, ”everything looks perfect.” They drained his kidneys and put a catheter back in – no fun, but needed. The intense pain has subsided, but he’s still uncomfortable, exhausted, and tired of being confined to the house. But I’ll take those three alternatives to intense pain any day.

After all is said and done, we had no idea his surgery would be this complicated when we first made the decision to go ahead with it, but we thought it would be best to take care of the issue now before his kidney loses function over the years. We’ll be glad to have this behind us as soon as possible. We just pray that John makes a full recovery and is ready to start school in a week and a half. Life always manages to keep on rolling, huh?

So I’m sorry if this wasn’t the most entertaining of blog posts, but I needed a cathartic release after such a stressful week. John and I are unfathomably blessed, and we have no doubt that God has been with us through this whole experience.

Get well soon husband, and hospital bills have mercy on us!!