WALK IT OFF

Bring it Derek Zoolander. Challenge me to a walk off. I dare you. Cause after this morning’s impromptu walk-off workout, I’m an all-terrain high heel hottie and one foxy force to reckon with. Beat that Blue Steel.

I got up this morning and put on three inch heels. A little extra lift to get me out of the weekend and into the week ahead. I don’t let Pilates kick my butt for nothing right? If calves and a butt can thank you, mine did as I walked out the door.

I got out to the streetcar stop a little late, but figured I’d be able to catch one of the next cars headed downtown no problem. (Wrong assumption # 1) I waited. And waited. Then I glanced back at the streetcar track – empty. No car in sight. Glorious. I better start haulin' or I’ll be late for work. Let the walk-off begin.

“I’ll just walk to the next stop and I’m sure a streetcar will come soon,” I reassured myself.

I made it to the first stop, and the second and the third with no car in sight. Then came my fatal mistake. I stopped looking back as often. (sounds like the lead-in to a church talk allegory huh?) I figured I’d end up just having to walk the rest of the way and was doing so as fast as my little stilettos could carry me. Over sand patches and pebbles and ditches I made my journey – this must be what the pioneers felt like. Wait…what’s that you say? This isn’t comparable to the pioneers at all? Point taken. Agreed. The pioneers were much smarter than to wear high heels on their trek. My mistake. ;)

Then I heard it. The rumble of the tracks behind me. I turned around. There, one stop back, was the streetcar. But wait! I was smack in the middle of the stop behind me and the one ahead. Do I try to run back and catch it at the stop behind me? Do I race forward and try to make it to the next stop before it gets there? Then came the eye contact. The connection. Me in my pencil skirt and heels with a $1.25 in hand made eye contact with the streetcar conductor. I knew that HE knew that we BOTH knew that I needed to get on that streetcar. I made the command decision to stay where I was and wait. I mean, we had made eye contact after all, and it was obvious that I, an arguably sane woman, could not possibly WANT to be booking it in heels and a pencil skirt down the middle of the grass median on St. Charles Ave at 7:40 in the morning. I mean honestly, I even waved at him to let him know I needed to get on. My moment of truth – I’d be able to ride the streetcar the rest of the way to work. (Wrong assumption # 2) The street car whizzed (that’s a funny word) by without stopping. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?” I called out in exasperation. Then it hit me. Not the streetcar, but this realization: eye contact is in no way a binding contract or a connection one should place any faith in when it comes to catching a streetcar to work.

And so I walked. I walked and I called John. Who reminded me to ‘not fall down’. Thank you loving husband John – that thought had not occurred to me. lol jk Together we got upset at the breakage of the eye contact contract that had gone down moments earlier, but then he made jokes and helped me see the hilarity of the situation. He’s a keeper. He lightened the load that was weighing heavily on my high heeled hoofs. Hoofs is my word, not his. Obviously he would not be in my good graces had his word choice been such.

Finally I made it to another streetcar stop – glistening (the polite version of sweating that women will admit to) in the morning sun. This time I was in the right place at the right time, and no eye contact, just my $1.25 was needed. Hallelujah!

So take that Derek Zoolander: I can walk/awkwardly jog in 3 inch heels and a pencil skirt down an unpredictable and uneven median in New Orleans while talking on a cell phone, looking backwards and moving forwards, carrying $1.25 in hand, balancing a purse full of way too many items plus a homemade lunch on my shoulder, on a humid morning in the big city and end up at work only 5 minutes late. Someone really needs to high five me right now.

Conclusion: I’m a really, really ridiculously good walker.