MAY I HELP YOU?

I like taking care of people and I like making people feel comfortable. Think Martha Stewart without the expensive frills, the fraud, oh yeah, or the shoulder pads. So when I see someone (especially someone close to me) struggling, my gut reaction is to make it better.

My mom has termed this the “make-it-better” mentality, and I inherited and learned it from her. But Pat and I aren’t the only ones linked by this characteristic. All women have a glimmer of the God-given trait of wanting to help, to heal, to nurture. It’s this mentality that helps women build strong and lasting friendships. It’s this mentality that brings wives to help their husbands in the struggles of life. It’s this mentality that gets moms out of bed at 3am to care for a crying child (right Wendy?) It’s this mentality that is the catalyst for so many of our reactions. And it’s this mentality that is rooted in an even stronger God-given power: LOVE.

Like when you were three and your mom could kiss away any little scrape or bruise - talk about powerful 'make-it-better' medicine! But then somewhere between training wheels and training bras, mom’s pucker lost its power and she had to find new ways to apply ‘make-it-better’ band-aids from her emotional emergency kit. And don’t even get me started on the emotional roller coaster of high school and college...very complicated make-it-better methods needed there. lol

So throughout my life, my mom’s motive and mentality has been the same, but the manifestations have been multifaceted and ever-evolving. Most times she was able to help, but sometimes all she could do was try to help. And in my own attempts to help the people around me I’ve discovered the same thing.

As women, we will go crazy if we measure our worth or our ability to love by the success of our helpful endeavors. Our desires and attempts can and should be how our love is quantified. We should always have the desire to ‘make-it-better’, but we should also understand that we might not always have the ability to do so.

With finals week fast approaching for John, stress levels at the Sigety home are high. Whoever invented law school must have had some sort of vendetta against sanity, balance and happiness - cause it’s rough! Thus in my attempt to figure out how to 'make-it-better' I’ve been taking care of the cleaning and cooking etc.(...for the most part anyway), but in terms of actually helping with his schoolwork, there’s been nothing I can do. I’ve had to face the fact that even though I would like to, I can’t make it all better for him. But I'm starting to understand that even though I don’t have the ability to make it all better, this adversity and trial in his life does have the ability to make HIM better.

This small example, among so many others, further solidifies my conviction that life’s experiences, when worked through with prayer, faith, patience and Jesus Christ, have the profound power to make an individual better than they were before. So right now, the best help I can give John (and many of you reading this blog) is to encourage him/you to turn to the truest and most powerful source of help, Jesus Christ.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints eloquently expressed the power of Jesus Christ in the following quote about His suffering in Gethsemane:

“…But Jesus held on. He pressed on. The goodness in Him allowed faith to triumph even in a state of complete anguish. The trust He lived by told Him in spite of His feelings that divine compassion is never absent, that God is always faithful, that He never flees nor fails us. When the uttermost farthing had then been paid, when Christ’s determination to be faithful was as obvious as it was utterly invincible, finally and mercifully, it was “finished.” Against all odds and with none to help or uphold Him, Jesus of Nazareth, the living Son of the living God, restored physical life where death had held sway and brought joyful, spiritual redemption out of sin, hellish darkness, and despair. With faith in the God He knew was there, He could say in triumph, “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.”

“…because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path—the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the consummate gift of the Holy Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel. Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said: “I will not leave you comfortless: [My Father and] I will come to you [and abide with you].”

I have a testimony that through this Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can cast our burden (whatever it may be) on the ultimate example of the Master to make it better…or if we’re lucky to make US better. And it helps me (one of many women who want to make life better) to remember that while I am only sometimes able to help my friends and family, he is ALWAYS able to help.

I know that we are never alone when we are with the Lord, who loves and helps us perfectly.