SIZE MATTERS

I know I said not to expect any posts from me in a while...but this story was just too blog-worthy :)

Ah, the cupcake craze. Women love it, men are baffled by it, and small business owners thrive on it. What is it about those little carb cups that keep us coming back for more? Hmmm....probably the fact that we don't call them carb cups. Rather, we call them Red Velvet, Sweet Vanilla Bean Dream, Chocolate Delight and the like.

So today when my sister emailed me about a new cupcake store opening in New Orleans...my mouth started to water. Better still? This store was opening just down the street from my office and giving away a free cupcake to everyone who came by today.

...Can we say lunch break field trip?

Exciting for John - we work at the same office, so he was forced, er, invited to come with. Lucky boy.

I google mapped the place and saw that it was 0.8 miles from our office. That's not too bad, right? I figured I'd earn my cupcake by walking there and back. Oh my little ambitious 7 1/2 month pregnant self. You go Glen Co Co!

High noon rolled around, and we ventured out into the New Orleans heat happy to get out of the office for a bit. But let's not kid ourselves...it turns out that 0.8 miles is farther than one might think! And after passing under the highway (yes, the highway) I started to lose faith that we'd even actually find this place. Not the greatest area of town, if you know what I mean. But just as the sky is darkest before the dawn - so was the shadow beneath the highway before we found the lighted "OPEN" sign of the cupcake shop.

Cue the angelic choir! Or was that the high pitched whirr of my weazing self? Let's go with the choir.

Thouroughly expecting a hearty welcome and a fun grand opening...we opened the door.

Cricket. Cricket.

The clerks finally said hello. Then came another awkward pause.

...Shifty eyes...

"Is this your grand opening today?" I said with a smile.

"Yes it is" said the clerk.

Whew!

And then came the big reveal. (drum roll)

She lifted the cover to what I was sure to be delicious cupcakes of normal human proportions.

Wrong.

There atop the display case of normal size cupcakes, was an army of teeny tiny mini cupcakes (like seriously less than one bites worth). They tried to stand as tall as their little frosting hats would let them, but it was to no avail. These were the smallest cupcakes I'd EVER seen, and I all but laughed right out loud when the clerk said, "would you like a free red velvet cupcake?"

WHAT THE?!?!?!

Was this some kind of sick joke? Trying to mask my rage, er, I mean disappointment, John and I both took our samples. If my tastebuds could talk...they'd tell the tale of whipped tasteless frosting atop quasi-decent cake. Yuck. No Ratatouille moment in sight. It wasn't even worth a second bite...well...had there actually been a second bite for the taking.

And with a swallow and a half-smile, the interaction turned into the dreaded doorstep scene of an awkward first date. There was no way I was about to put out (three dollars that is) for what was supposed to be a FREE cupcake! So we tried to inch our way to the door, but felt obligated to say something. So we muttered something along the lines of "glad to know that you guys are open for business" and John also chose to say "We'll be back" (bless his heart). That's almost as bad as "We should do this again sometime." If you don't want what they be sellin...don't ask for seconds. So as soon as we walked out the door I assured him that "NO WE WOULD NOT BE BACK!" Hell hath no fury like a pregnant woman gypped out of a cupcake of socially accepted and expected regular proportions. John has obviously taken on the role of the "rational one" in our relationship these days. lol

But I tried to look on the bright side as we started our 0.8 mile journey back to the office...

I mean, I didn't get raped while walking through the ghetto to get a cupcake. (exaggeration perhaps) I didn't get a tummy ache from eating a huge treat mid-workout. And I got more exercise than I've had in weeks. (oh wait...that's embarassing to admit isn't it...haha) Ah, how I miss physical activity. And so what if my hair is in a ponytail now and I smell a little like sweat. I tried to get my cupcake and eat it too...but it just wasn't meant to be.

Needless to say, this little cupcake shop down the way will NOT be getting a second date from Kim Sigety. Because especially in the case of cupcakes - size most DEFINITELY matters!!!