THE MISSING MOJO

Well hello dear readers of Present Bliss! In case you forgot, my name is Kim (see picture above). I figure I better reintroduce myself because I left you so suddenly and completely on an impromptu hiatus from blogdom. I bet you had to start therapy to deal with the detachment, didn’t you? It must be tough when someone so talented drops out of your life like I did ;) So I completely understand if you have to ease yourself slowly back into my blog. Don’t worry - You can just take it one word at a time. It’ll be like getting into a hot bath: one toe at a time. Or like getting sucked into another annoyingly satisfying season of The Bachelor: one scripted and dramatic group date at a time. Or like striving to eat more vegetables: one ranch drenched carrot stick at a time.

So while you’re easing yourself back into my present bliss, why don’t I go ahead and vocalize the question that’s been at the top of all of your minds these days…

“Kim – what’s the cause for the disconnect?”

Plain and simple – I just haven’t felt like writing. Eating – yes. Sleeping – yes. Writing – no. I wish I could say that I’ve been biting off more than I can chew in adventurous endeavors, but alas, I’ve just been biting (and swallowing) too much for two. Oh yes – and the other issue is that I’m also missing any semblance of creativity. Some days I’ve actually FELT like writing and even tried…but nothing. Nothing worthy of your wonderful eyes that is. So I’m looking for my muse again. And if the first few posts here are a little ‘blah,’ well then you’ll hopefully remember that I’m easing myself back into this whole word business too.

I’m attempting to slow the prenatal poundage and rediscover my voice. I’m opting for prose rather than Pringles. Allusions over Oreos. And sweet, sweet sentences over sweet, sweet, well, anything else. Oh haven’t you missed me in all my alliteratory glory? (and yes I made up that word) I’m back baby! And better yet, back WITH A BABY!

Yup, I’m pregnant. I think that was the last update y’all received from me.

.....wait a minute.....

Maybe that’s the answer to the mysterious disappearance of my mojo. Could “pregnancy brain” be a real thing? It must be. And in that case - I’m going to name my condition THE PREGNANCY PARADOX. You see, the more creative I’ve become prenatally, the less creative I’ve become poetically. Ironic because here I am being literally as creative as I can possibly be by growing a little human inside of me, and yet I’ve lost all semblance of my creative LITERARY drive.

Which brings me to further conclude: Could creativity be body part specific? Could all my creative force be going to my uterus rather than to my brain? It all makes so much sense! (if you throw out all reason…as you must usually do when reading my blog that is) My uterus has been stealing from my brain! My uterus has been stealing from me! Stealing my words, stealing my inspiration, and ultimately stealing my blog posts from YOU!

Whoa…

But wait. I guess I really shouldn’t be too miffed at my uterus, right? She may be the culprit of my lost creativity, but I don’t think she can help it. She’s been a little busy lately. And under these special circumstances, I hope you’ll try not to be too be mad at my uterus either. I mean, I’ll do my best to teach her to share, but I’m not sure how well that’ll go over. The inner child of said uterus is EXCEPTIONALLY strong these days ;)

So even with my abdominally directed creativity and a uterus that’s preoccupied and selfish – I’ll forge ahead and strive to write for you, my glorious blog readers. I’ll overcome these difficulties because that’s what pregnant writers do. We understand that the antidote to The Pregnancy Paradox is Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Er…where did that come from? I meant to say that the cure is writing. Writing is the cure. Writing until you get your mojo back.

All that said, I guess we can consider my muse, my inspiration, my mojo rediscovered!! Who could have guessed that it’s been in my uterus this whole time. Go figure. lol