SUPER KIM AND THE KILLER

We start our story today with a discussion of elevators. Or boxes of death as I like to call them. Think about it: you're trapped in a tiny box high above the ground, hanging by a string, and plumetting downward. Morbid I know...but sometimes the truth hurts...and sometimes it's morbid. Today is one of those morbid times.

I try not to think about this gamble I take with my life though, considering that I live on the 4th floor and I work on the 37th floor. Which fact (in and of itself) makes me wonder woman, cause I face this fear multiple times a day. I should wear a superhero cape. But then I'd be that girl in a cape that people have to ride in the elevator with, and I say no to public humilitaion if at all possible. Decided: no cape. But cape or no cape, please note that I am still most assuredly super.

So my super little self entered the elevator last night and figured it would be like any other ride. Wrong. I turned around to face the doors as they closed just like I always do. But this time, something was different. This time, I wasn't alone. (insert heebie jeebies) There hovering in and out of the closing doors was a blood thirsty killer!

Yes, a MOSQUITO swerved in and out of the impending doors as if blatantly taunting me. In...Ahhh! Out...Whew! In...Wince! Out...thank goodness! In...Uh oh! Out...Stay out! In...Dang it.

The verdict was out - the mosqito was in.

I instinctively knew it was toying with me. Playing with me as a predator plays with its prey before the kill. It bugged me the confidence with which it had made its final entrance. This mosquito wanted a duel. And, by george (who's george?), it was gonna get it. The odds were steep (4 floors steep). It was me or it. And so help me - I wasn't gonna go down this way! Well, I WAS going down via elevator...but I wasn't gonna "go down" like, you know, DIE this way.

If only I'd been wearing my cape! No way a mosquito would mess with Super Kim. It must not have recognized my secretly super self because I wasn't in my cape. Regardless, let's get one thing clear - last night this mosquito chose to mess with the wrong girl.

I hurried to the opposite side of the box as the elevator started to decend. All the while keeping my villain in view. Why didn't I just play dead, you ask? Amateur. That only works with lions and tigers and bears. Oh my, it's a good thing I was the one in this predicament and not you!!

I'd made it down one floor unscaved. I assessed the situation. My hands were full so I couldn't just swat it. To free my hands, I'd need to bend down and set all of my stuff on the floor. I didn't dare. That's just what it would want me to do, take my eyes off of it for one minute. Then WHAMO! I'd be a gonner. And I couldn't very well use my pepper spray. I'd be trapped in a gaseous box falling fast to the ground level! Ahhh!

So I watched. I studied my nemesis. It swerved left, I veered right. It darted right, I leaned left. We were dancing as only super heros and villans can dance. And amidst our tango, I'd made it down yet another floor. One more to go.

All of a sudden it made a swoop in my direction and I dashed to the other side of the elevator. And then the long awaited "DING!" We'd made it to the ground level. I'd managed to survive (ride) the box of death (the elevator) as it plumeted (slowly lowered) to the first floor. My only obstacle now was to free myself from hostage-dom and make it to my car without this killer following me. As the doors opened and the view of the parking garage was clear - I knew what I had to do.

Now sometimes heroes kill the villains, and sometimes heroes let the villains get away. And in this situation I chose the nobler option. Yes, I was the bigger person last night. And you know what the bigger person does? The bigger person walks away from conflict. And I must be really noble, cause I didn't just walk - I ran. I ran as fast as I could out of that elevator.

I finally made it to my car and slammed the door behind me. Panting slightly, I had one of those introspective moments. I realized that I had stared death (a tiny mosquito bite) in the face and escaped with my life. Super Kim had done it again!

And that my friends, is the tale of Super Kim and the Killer. Let the record show that I will forever be the bigger person when compared to that mosquito.