THE FALL THAT TURNED TO AUTUMN

I started my first blog in November of 2007. I posted once and then practically forgot about it altogether. College life must have proved too busy for writing anything extra outside the classroom. The one post that I did manage to find time for though, was a cathartic release during a very difficult time in my life. Two important relationships in my life had just ended, one of my best friends had died in a car accident just weeks before, and I was lower than I think I'd ever been.

In looking back to this post now, I'm learning from my prior insights all over again. The primary message: HOPE. So, in honor of "3 years ago Kim" in her sincere and naive wisdom, I've decided this post deserves a second appearance in what I now gratefully describe as my Present Bliss. And, just for the record - my old self was right. I was waiting for my life to upswing for the better, and 2 months later I ran into John Sigety on BYU's campus and the chain reaction of blessings haven't stopped since.

I firmly believe that our lows can either leave us immobilized and downhearted or they can redirect our attention heavenward as we wait and hope for the upward lift that we all so genuinely need. This post is a personal tribute to where I've been, where I am now, and the few things I hope I've learned in the process.

NOVEMBER 6, 2007

"Autumn. The classy alter-ego of what most consider Fall. But how depressing an attribution for such a beautiful season! I happen to be from the one season wonder - California...so seasons are a foreign yet welcome concept for me. Which brings me to the discord that a name like Fall doesn't seem fitting in the least for the scene around me. Saying "Fall" skips to the depressing conclusion of the seasonal story while completely omiting the beautiful process of change. The leaves will fall - it's inevitable. But to overlook the changing of colors, the crisp air, the clear sun...that would be utter ingratitude and self-centered oblivian.

Seeing this transformation has ultimately brought out the introspective in me. It doesn't take much huh? lol But just as I choose to say Autumn over Fall...I've chosen not to focus on the falls in my life this past month. Or maybe I've focused on them so much that I'm fully engulfed by them. Whatever the case - I'm choosing to make this Fall into an Autumn in my life. A change. A discovery. A transformation.

One of my best friends died in a car accident at the start of October. A Fall for not only me - but for so many of my closest friends. Tim Filicia was an amazing man who embodied this perspective of seeing the downs in life as mere opportunities to regrow, renew, and rejoice.

Along with relationships ending, school stresses, and the usual mid-collegiate crisis...I feel to have been falling more than one would anticipate in the past while. I'm learning, though, that it's falls like these that heighten our senses to the pulls of the world and ultimately lead us forward. Haven't you felt that before too? It's those times when no matter what you do, you feel held back or pulled down and away from your dreams. Maybe I've been focusing to intently on the downward effects of the down times in my life when I should have more easily accepted a simple truth. Life is a springboard. So no matter the pulls and weight of the world - its all simply preparing me for an upward launch. The more opposition I face...the more sure I am that I will soon be higher than before if I but wait through gravity's momentary impact.

The vibrance of Autumn may signal the end of the summer season, but why focus on it as a conclusion when to see it as a start would mean opportunity, excitement and hope. I'm simply waiting for my springboard's release. I'm on the way up. I'll be ready for the ride."

Here's hoping this change in the seasons leads to positive changes for you and yours. Best wishes for a wondeful Autumn. Thanks for reading!