ITS NOT EASY BEING BLONDE

According to Kermit the Frog, it’s not that easy being green. But if he thinks green is tough, he should try life as a blonde! Talk about one high maintenance color. Maybe that’s why Miss Piggy is, well, the way she is. It’s takes a lot of work to be that blonde. Heaven help their children! Would they be green AND blonde? And what would they be called? Progs? Friggys? haha…Friggys. So aside from green and blonde Friggys, we light haired ladies have a lot to deal with. The upkeep, the cost, the damage, the dumb jokes…which leads me to the point of this post: Some days it’s just not that easy being blonde.


For one thing – we have to fill our brains with terms that the rest of the population just doesn’t need to know. So, for those of you who’d like a glimpse of life on the light side…here are a few key words when it comes to blondes. And while we’re at it, let’s go ahead and clear up some myths and misconceptions about me and my fellow fair headed friends too.

• Getting back to our roots has little to do with family – and everything to do with needing a hair appointment.

• Bleach is a style and not a household cleaner.

• A high lift is neither a reinvention of the high five nor a description of plastic surgery we’ve had done - it’s how we lighten our hair.

• Brassy is a hair coloring gone wrong – not a description of a Michael Buble song.

• We do NOT, in any way shape or form, have toes growing out of our heads just because we were born tow heads.

• Dirty blonde is not a depiction of character, but rather a clarification of color. (Well…most of the time)

• Highlights go on our heads - not on our papers.

• Any conversation that stars with “Did you hear the one about the blonde who…” will invariably end with YES! (whether we visibly roll our eyes and say it or keep it to ourselves, the sentiment remains the same: we’ve heard it – we get it – hardy har har.)

• In our kitchens, foils most definitely go on our heads AND on our food. (important - not simultaneously)

• Stripping means we take the color out of our hair and not the clothes off our bodies. Although, I’d like to have a word with the army of skanky billboard blondes out there giving us good girls a bad name.

• Weaving is something we do to color our hair and not a craft project or a way to navigate in and out of traffic.

• When you ask if our hair is naturally this color and we respond with a yes – you can almost guarantee we’re answering with our 4 year old self as proof. And yes, that counts as natural.

Aside from all the terms we blondies need to know, there are other stresses that go along with our golden tresses. My mane problem is definitely the cost. We’re talking upwards of $100 for a cut and color. (Did your wallet just cringe a little too?)

Side note: I don’t give rich people much credit for being gorgeous. We’d ALL be gorgeous if we had gazillions of dollars to spend on our looks. I give props to the ladies on a tight budget who manage to look all together beautiful. “Beauty” can definitely be bought in our day and age – so when I see a woman without a lot of money looking amazing – that’s true beauty in my book.

Then there’s the constant upkeep. Doesn’t hair realize how much we’re spending on it? You’d think it would stop growing to eliminate the “root” of the problem, or at least maybe learn to grow in the color we want it to.

And finally there’s the damage dilemma. Too much lightening leads to breakage. And when breakage takes its toll, you end up tangled in a mess that’s tough to comb through. And usually, the lighter the blonde the more damaged the do. What good is rockin’ color if your hair looks like the end of a broom? Or worse, if it’s breaking off all over the place. Beware the breakage!

Blah blah blah…Anyone annoyed at all my complaining? Me too.

Before I lose my readership forever - l better look on the bright side. No matter your hair color, if you comb through the complaints, you’re bound to unlock some wonderful truths about your locks. So today I’m grateful for my hair in all it’s grown out glory. Truth is, even with all the costs and the upkeep…being blonde is nothing to coif at after all.

 I LOVE MY BLONDE HAIR!

So ladies, if you're tired of your tresses, it’s time to wake up and smell the rose scented shampoo. Don’t turn green with envy for the looks of the locks around you. Especially if you’re blonde. Cause as we discussed earlier – green and blonde definitely don't go together.

And Kermie – here’s to you in all your green glory. Your song says it all and we could definitely learn something from you!

"But green's the color of spring
And green can be cool and friendly-like
And green can be big like a mountain
Or important like a river
Or tall like a tree

When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why
But why wonder why wonder
I am green, and it'll do fine
It's beautiful, and I think it's what I want to be"

I don’t know about you, but I think Kermit’s friggin right. haha.