LOVE YOUR LUNCH

I, Kim Sigety, am a member of the Bring-Your-Lunch-To-Work-Club. I can read your thoughts – and yes – I really am that cool. Indeed, I brown bag it. Let me specify though, (before you New Orleanians get the wrong idea), my brown-bagging has nothing to do with booze. You see, in New Orleans, this could be a real shocker when you consider the number of tipsy people in the city come high noon. But not this girl! The only buzz I get is from my power packed Snack Packs and my filled to the tip top Tupperware. Again – your thoughts of how cool I am are dually noted, documented and appreciated.

Even though I'm an enthusiast of portable mid-day eats, I’ll definitely admit that some days are better than others in the sack lunch department. You know what I mean. The good days are packed with leftovers from delicious culinary creations of the night before. But then come the days where your PB almost has to do without the J because there’s just not time to open another jar before running out the door.

So as I’ve packed, refrigerated and lunched from a bag (mmmm…doesn’t it sound so glamorous when I put it that way), I’ve happened upon a mid-day cuisine conundrum: No matter what I put IN my lunch, it’s usually not what I want to take OUT come lunch time. Odd the change that happens in the span of about 4 hours, huh? But it happens, and sadly, it happens all too often. Thus, I (in all my psychology minor glory) have discovered and diagnosed my condition as

(drum roll………………)

“Lunch Envy”

(Da…Da…DAAAA!)

You see – “Lunch Envy”, as introduced in the previous paragraph, is the sudden or gradual onset of dissatisfaction with one’s own lunch when said lunch is juxtaposed with the lunches of others. The classic, “the lettuce is always greener on someone else’s plate” idea. Also encompassed within this theory are feelings of jealousy toward others whose lunches seem superior to one’s own, as well as animosity toward the items within one’s own lunch bag.

Symptoms can vary from eater to eater, but as for me, I smell the fast food of my coworkers and see the much more colorful bags and boxes they’ve bought from the plethora (that word is for you Melissa Daniels) of restaurants here in New Orleans, and the envy begins. I almost immediately start to see where my lunch is lacking and I lose all appetite for my own prepared portions. This is just one of many reactions that are the outward manifestations of a deep rooted problem in America today.

If you or a loved one is suffering from “Lunch Envy” – you are not alone. Everyday there are thousands of people in the United States who suffer with unsatisfied taste buds and perturbed palettes. But there IS something that can help.

After suffering in silence myself, I’ve decided to reach out to all those envious eaters out there in an attempt to help bear the brown bag burden. Now your lunch issues can be gone forever with this exclusive blog post offer:

For just five easy payments of $19.95, you will receive a copy of my e-book entitled, “Living With Lunch Envy, A Comprehensive Look at How to Love Your Lunch and Let it Love You Back.” But if you order within the next 10 minutes, I’ll also include a set of 5 brown lunch sacks, one of those yellow bracelets endorsed by Lance Armstrong with the words “Lunch Strong” carved delicately into the rubber, and a limited edition autographed picture of me contentedly eating lunch. BUT WAIT! That’s not all! Because I care so much about your relationship with your mid-day meal, I’ll also throw in my interactive online tutorial entitled, “7 Habits of Highly Effective Eaters” absolutely FREE! All this can be yours for just five easy paym….NO! COMMENT ON THIS POST AND I’LL MAKE THAT ONLY FOUR EASY PAYMENTS OF $19.95! But you’ll have to post fast – supplies are very limited.

Bottom line: Lunch Envy is real. But my e-book can help. Friends don’t let friends get dissatisfied with their lunches. If you or someone you love needs mid-day meal help – don’t let this opportunity pass you by. Call now and fall in love you’re your lunch all over again.

Lunch Strong!